Editing ourselves

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"A great deal of energy goes into the process of fixing and editing ourselves. We may have even come to admire in ourselves what is admired, expect what is expected, and value what is valued by others. We have changed ourselves into someone that the people who matter to us can love. Sometimes we no longer know what is true for us, in which direction our own integrity lies. 

 We surrender our wholeness for a variety of reasons. Among the most compelling are our ideas of what being a good person is all about.... Few of us are able to love ourselves as we are. We may have even become ashamed of our wholeness. Parts of ourselves which we may have hidden all of our lives out of shame are often the source of our healing.... 

Reclaiming ourselves usually means coming to recognize and accept that we have in us both sides of everything. We are capable of fear and courage, generosity and selfishness, vulnerability and strength. These things do not cancel each other out but offer us a full range of power and response to life. Life is as complex as we are. Sometimes our vulnerability is our strength, our fear develops our courage, and our woundedness is the road to our integrity. It is not an either/or world. In calling ourselves "heads" or "tails," we may never own and spend our human currency, the pure gold of which our coin is made."

-Rachel Naomi Remen (Inward/Outward)